♥ Why Do People Gossip ?

Obviously everyone has a different reason for gossiping. I have found that people gossip for one of the following reasons :

To fill in the void in conversation

People in general do not like silence. It seems everyone is afraid of silence. That is why sometimes meditation, or quieting of the mind is so challenging for a lot of people. Whenever there is a silence in a conversation, people tend to get nervous and often try to fill in the void by gossiping.

Lack of general knowledge

Not knowing enough about other interesting subjects to talk about, thus resorting to gossip. The society is designed in such a way that people often start specializing in particular professions from an early age. This limits their thinking and their knowledge to that direction only. This is not their fault. There is only so much time in a day and there is so much information pertaining to each profession and increasing so much and at such a rapid pace that it is hard enough just to keep up with it. In the end people seem to acquire a lot of knowledge about their own subject but outside of that, their general knowledge is limited unless they make a special effort. That is the reason that unless the topic being discussed is of their profession, they do not have much to contribute and they resort to gossip.

To belong to a group

If everyone is gossiping and you do not, then you feel left out and thus eventually you join in as well. There is no place that gossip is more evident than a workplace. Everyone joins in the gossiping sessions and it feels like a one big happy family.

Now if everyone is at this gossiping meeting, who are they talking about you may ask ? Well, they’re talking about people in the other department. Does this mean that everyone in the other department is so bad? What if you were to get shifted in the other department? What would you do now ? Of course, you would talk about the department that you just left.

Now what if you do not feel like gossiping or you are just not that type of a person ? Then you do not belong and you are an outcast.

Inferiority Complex

If people do not have healthy self-esteem, they are more likely to engage in gossip. If someone is doing better than them, they feel good by gossiping about that person. People can not just be better, there has to be an unethical, if not an illegal reason. Underneath it all, everyone has a dark side.

How many times have we heard these terms ?

• He is getting ahead because he knows whose back to scratch, how to kiss the right ass but I am just not that type of a person. I am an honest and hard working person
• He is getting ahead because he knows how to play the politics
• He gets good grades because he is teacher’s pet
• He knows the art of flattery that’s why he can easily get jobs and get ahead

Also, if people are feeling bad, knowing that there is someone else who is doing just as bad or even worse often makes them feel better. The easiest way to ensure that is the case is to start the gossip or rumour about others.

Taking revenge on people who constantly put you down

We have all known people that are loud and obnoxious. These people like to be the center of attention. If you oppose their point of view, whether one on one or in a meeting or gathering, these people can easily put you down and can turn downright nasty. The person on the receiving side may feel humiliated but unable to offer a comeback may resort to gossip later on. This again goes back to the lack of healthy self-esteem. Person with a healthy self-esteem may take the whole thing as a joke and not think about it anymore but a person with a low self-esteem can easily get offended and remember it for the rest of his life. This does not even have to be in public though it feels worst if you are being talked down to in front of others. There are some people who will constantly talk down to you even if it is just the two of you. Again, either you deal with it one on one with them or bad mouth them behind their back as many do.

Unmasking and showing the real side of people

If everyone believes that a certain person is a really hard working and a good person and you know that to be completely false, do you keep that to yourself or do you set to unmask that person ? You know that they are good at one thing and that is exaggerating their accomplishments and taking credit for other people’s work. What if you deserve praise or credit on a project and another ends up taking all the credit because of their “smooth talk” ? How do you handle such a situation? In fact you could be assertive and set the record straight or you could set out to show the real side of that person by gossiping about him.

Show the real side of people who get undeserved praise

Just like in the situation mentioned above, what if people are getting undeserved praise? And what if it has nothing to do with you ? Do you consider it your responsibility to set the record straight about that person even though they have not wronged you ? Do you gossip about that person just because they are fooling others ?

LaVenDer